Potatoes


You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Girl
Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and
finally they got married, and had a little sweet
potato, whom they called 'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it
was time, they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting
half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally
mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot
Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.

Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into
the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But
on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and
become a Couch Potato, either. She would get
plenty of exercise and eat well so as not to be
skinny like her Shoestring cousins.

When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato
told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys
from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France
called the French Fries. And when she went out
west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't
get scalloped.

Yam said she would stay on the straight and
narrow, and wouldn't associate with those high
class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side
of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the
trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'

Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's
Potato University) so that when she graduated
she'd really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they
did for her, one day Yam came home and
announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw! Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset.
They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom
Brokaw because he's just.........................

Are you ready for this?...............................

Are you sure?..............................

OK! Here it is!.................................



A COMMON TATER!
Rockingham Remembered
Short Stories