| Only In The U.S.A. A Transplanted Canadian's Thoughts |
| 1. Only in the USA......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in the USA......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in the USA......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in the USA.......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in the USA......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in the USA.......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in the USA......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in the USA.......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in the USA......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. 10. Only in the USA......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? |
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