Husbands and Wives
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get
married and wish you were dead.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to
another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding
ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman
replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:
"Husband wanted". Next day she received a
hundred letters.They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is
no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in the
U.S.A.The rest cheat in Canada.
A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how
much does it cost to get married?" And the
father replied, "I don'tknow son, I'm still
paying."
Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts
of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he
marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a woman who said, "I never
knew what real happiness was until I got
married; and by then it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay
strict attention to every word you say, talk in
your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men
would go through life thinking they had no
faults at all.
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over
when you start to go out with the boys on
Wednesday nights, and so does she.
First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Women will never be equal to men until they
can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are
attractive to the opposite sex.
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get
married and wish you were dead.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to
another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding
ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman
replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:
"Husband wanted". Next day she received a
hundred letters.They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is
no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in the
U.S.A.The rest cheat in Canada.
A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how
much does it cost to get married?" And the
father replied, "I don'tknow son, I'm still
paying."
Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts
of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he
marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a woman who said, "I never
knew what real happiness was until I got
married; and by then it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay
strict attention to every word you say, talk in
your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men
would go through life thinking they had no
faults at all.
You know the honeymoon is pretty much over
when you start to go out with the boys on
Wednesday nights, and so does she.
First guy: "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Women will never be equal to men until they
can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are
attractive to the opposite sex.
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