| A Few Good Jokes |
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can
you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San
Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
Two Mexican detectives were investigating
the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in
Juan."
The investigation of Martha Stewart
continues. Her recipe for chicken casserole is
quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in
water. And then you dump the stock.
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't
believe in hell."
While shopping for vacation clothes, my
husband and I passed a display of bathing
suits. It had been at least ten years and
twenty pounds since I had even considered
buying a bathing suit, so I sought my
husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a
bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never
get it all in one."
If there were 4 potatoes in a room, how could
you tell which one would be the prostitute?
The one that's labeled "IDAHO".
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old
granddaughter and beeped the horn by
mistake. She turned and looked at him for an
explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, 'I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She said, "Because you didn't say "butthole!"
afterwards.
you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San
Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
Two Mexican detectives were investigating
the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in
Juan."
The investigation of Martha Stewart
continues. Her recipe for chicken casserole is
quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in
water. And then you dump the stock.
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't
believe in hell."
While shopping for vacation clothes, my
husband and I passed a display of bathing
suits. It had been at least ten years and
twenty pounds since I had even considered
buying a bathing suit, so I sought my
husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a
bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never
get it all in one."
If there were 4 potatoes in a room, how could
you tell which one would be the prostitute?
The one that's labeled "IDAHO".
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old
granddaughter and beeped the horn by
mistake. She turned and looked at him for an
explanation.
He said, "I did that by accident."
She replied, 'I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She said, "Because you didn't say "butthole!"
afterwards.
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