| Old Farmer's Advice |
| Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong. Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled. Meanness don't jest happen overnight. Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge. You cannot unsay a cruel word. Every path has a few puddles. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty. The best sermons are lived, not preached. Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. Don't judge folks by their relatives. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time. Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm, 'cause the colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got. The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every mornin'. Always drink upstream from the herd. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. |
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