The Dead Duck
Rockingham Remembered
Short Stories
A woman brought a very limp duck into a
veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the
table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or
two, the vet shook his head
sadly and said,  "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has
passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?
Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead", he replied.
"How can you be so sure", she protested. "I
mean, you haven't done any testing on him or
anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left
the room, and returned a few moments later
with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's
owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood
on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with
sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and
returned a few moments later with a beautiful
cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also
sniffed delicately at the bird.  The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed
softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm
sorry, but as I said, this is most  definitely,
100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal,
hit a
few keys and produced a bill which he handed
to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.
"$1500!", she cried, "$1500 just to tell me my
duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken
my word for it, the bill would have been $50,
but what with the Lab Report and the Cat
Scan..."