Rockingham Remembered
Short Stories
Colonoscopies
A physician claimed that the following are
actual comments made by his patients
(predominately male) while he was
performing their colonoscopies:

   1. "Take it easy, Doc.  You're boldly
going where no man has gone before!"
   2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
   3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
   4. "Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  
Are we there yet?"
   5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now
legally married."
   6. "Any sign of the trapped miners,
Chief?"
   7. "You put your left hand in, you take
your left hand out..."
   8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet
feels!"
   9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must
quit!"
   10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my
dignity."
   11. "You used to be an executive at
Enron, didn't you?"
   12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."

        And the best one of them all...

   13. "Could you write a note for my wife
saying that my head is not up there?"