Rockingham Remembered
Short Stories
Church Bloopers
1. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and
other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to
cripple children.

2. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning
at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship
Hall after the B.S. is done.

3. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
congregation would lend him their electric girdles for
the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

4. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday
at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

5. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after
which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

6. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church
Wednesday.

7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our
church and community.

8. The eighth-graders will be presenting
Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday
at 7 PM.  The Congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.

9. Thursday night Potluck Supper.  Prayer and
medication to follow.

10. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to
announce the birth of David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs.
Adams.

11. Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream
social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in
the church hall. Music will follow.

13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic
will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our
choir practice.

14. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First
Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at
the side entrance.

15. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this
week for testes.

16. Please join us as we show our support for Amy
and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their
first child.

17. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM.
Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and
dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

18. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new
tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My
Pledge - Up Yours."

19. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get
High."

20. Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.

21. For those of you who have children and don't
know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

22. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis
to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

23. The service will close with Little Drops of Water.
One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of
the congregation will join in.