| Quotes You Might Hear On An Airplane |
| The captain's dulcet tones droned over the plane's speakers: "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed equally amongst the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!" A Canadian airline pilot wrote in his journal, a few years ago, that on one particular flight due to strong crosswinds, he had unfortunately hammered his ship onto the runway with a very hard greeting. The airline had a policy, which required the first officer on the flight to stand at the exit door while the passengers disembarked, to smile and repeat "Thanks for flying our airline." His comments indicated that, in light of the poor landing, he avoided eye contact with the passengers in an attempt to avoid any smart comments that might result. Finally there was only one little old lady left to exit the plane. Walking slowly up the aisle with a cane, she approached the awaiting first officer and said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" "Did we land, or were we shot down?" A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After reaching a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax. OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant brought me a cup of very hot coffee, which ended up spilling in my lap. You should see the front of my pants! A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine! |
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